


I just wanted you to stay

by LarytaDaftJustice



Category: Daft Punk
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 17:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/903037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarytaDaftJustice/pseuds/LarytaDaftJustice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>RAM Challenge - The game of love</p><p>Do you have the strength to keep on playing this game?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I just wanted you to stay

They kiss and it tastes bittersweet. They touch and it feels like a bless and a curse. There, hiding behind the pleasure, is the pain. The denial fades but the lie and the truth are still there, fighting like good and evil since the beginning of time.  
Guy-Manuel doesn't want to be punched in the face with the reality of the situation, but it’s impossible not to think about it. Tonight is the last one. Tomorrow there will be no more "us" in their secret talks, at least not in the way that it was until today.  
He closes his eyes, trying his best not to cry. He's being weak in more than a way right now. Thomas touches his cheek and the brief contact feels wrong and oh so right.  
They lie in the bed, covered with sweat, breathing heavily. The last time they make love, Guy-man thinks, and it's under these conditions.  
Thomas is staring at him, but he refuses to look back. His eyes nailed to the ceiling, his mind clouded with the storm of the inevitable truth. This is the last time.

\- Please, look at me. – The taller man whispers.

Guy-man clenches his fists but finally turns his head to stare at him. He regrets it instantly. There's a bunch of words stuck in his throat, but he can't let them go, because then it'll be impossible to fight back the tears. He can feel them attempting to fall like rain now that those brown eyes are locked with his.  
Silence, that's all they have momentarily. Silence and nothing but the heavy weight of the end coming closer.  
Thomas frowns, his chest still going up and down frantically. Guy's gaze is full of darkness, full of pain, but he keeps on trying to make it look like one of his blank stares. Then, Thomas’ heart skips a beat. A single tear falls from one of Guy's green eyes.  
Guy-man notices it and tries to ignore it, staring back at the ceiling, clenching his fists even tighter. He opens his mouth, letting go a single, long, broken breath. The pain increasing in his chest. This is the last night.  
All the memories from their long moments together, those that no eyes would ever see, filling his head. All the whispers of love, all the secret touches, they are all gone now. All of a sudden a particular moment from the past, jumps inside his mind: Their first kiss… That innocent first time. Then, like a curse, like a knife nailing deep in his chest, his mind replays the worst words that he could ever hear from Thomas' lips. "I'm getting married"

\- Guillaume?

Thomas's voice takes Guy out of his chain of painful thoughts, so he covers his eyes with an arm. Thomas opens his mouth but the words are refusing to come out. He knew this would happen and now he feels like the worst person in the world. All of this time they have been secretly together, but not even once they have admitted that they've lost control of their emotions. This is wrong, this is complicated, and this isn't a game anymore.

\- I’m so sorry. - He finally manages to say and Guy's lips are forming a single, tight line in response. – Guy, I…

\- Shut up. – His friend whispers.

\- What?

\- For once in your life… Just… Shut up, Thomas.

\- But…

\- No, Thomas, no! Stop! - He suddenly snaps, almost screaming with his voice broken. - Please, just don't do this. Don't try to apologize as if you wouldn't know that this was going to hurt me!

Thomas closes his mouth, lying on its side. He wants to do something but he doesn't know what. Guy keeps his eyes away from his gaze again, yet tears are falling down his face and he's not trying to fight them back anymore. For Thomas, this moment is full of a variety of emotions. He's full of guilt, full of pain, full of doubts. He was fine five minutes ago, before noticing how strangely Guy-man was acting.

\- Can I just...? - He never gets to finish that sentence. Guy wipes his tears away, standing up, and starts to pick up his clothes from the floor. – Wait. - He stands up too, and walks closer to his friend. - Please, don't go.

\- Thomas…- He lets his arms fall and looks down. - I can't... I...

\- No, you can't go... Not without talking.

\- What do you want me to say? - He stares at his taller friend, they are so close he could just get on his toes and kiss him. Thomas sighs and his breath strokes his face gently.

\- Whatever you need to say.

\- You… Don't want to hear it.

\- Believe me, I do...

Guy-man remaines in silence for what feels like an eternity. Going crazy. There, in front of him, is his best friend, his lover, his brother, his soul mate. There is the man that he can no longer claim as his own, and it's so unfair… So fucking unfair.

\- I love you... - The words come out of his mouth like a whisper, but they are echoing in Thomas' ears like screams, louder and louder. – So much… - His eyes are full of tears again and it makes him feel so small. - Tonight was a mistake. Every night, after you told me you were getting married, were mistakes. I don't understand what's going on in your head. I don't want to believe that you're using me, that's not you, Thomas. This is not who you are! You just... You just can't tell me that you're in love with... Her, and then come to me for sex... And I should have never allowed you to do this to me. I should have never allowed you to get me into your bed while she's wearing that damn engagement ring. – He is almost screaming again, tears falling down his cheeks. - I'm so frustrated right now that I don't even know... I don't know what to think about you anymore... Why are you doing this to me?

The full weight of Guy's words fall over Thomas and, for a moment, he loses his own ability to speak. It's true, everything is true and he doesn't know how to deal with it.  
How could he be so selfish?

\- I… I… - He stutters – I don’t know. - Now it's his turn to be fighting back tears. - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I'm an asshole for apologizing. Guy… I’m lost, and I should have never dragged you into this situation. I'm so afraid and... I don't know how I feel anymore. I just know that I could never live without you.

His voice is a whisper and it fades away.

Guy-man sighs at that last phrase and starts to pick up his clothes again. He gets dressed as fast as possible at Thomas's back, while his friend can't do anything more than stare at the floor.

\- I can't stay here any longer... Don't worry; I'll be at your wedding tomorrow. - Guy's tone is cold as snow, as if something's just died inside him.

He attemptes to get out, but his hand freezes at the door handle. Thomas looks back to find his friend with his forehead resting against the door. Later he won't be able to tell what possessed him at that moment, but he doesn't hesitate in walking towards Guy and hugging him from the back, burying his face in his long hair, inhaling a scent that pushes him back to a past that's way too different from this present.

\- I hate you and love you so much right now. – Guy says in a lower tone, cursing himself in his mind while he turns around to wrap Thomas' naked body with his arms. They remain in this position for a long while until he whispers at his friend’s ear. - Even if I am walking out the door, you are the one who is really walking away... Not from our friendship, you're walking away from this that we have now... - He stifles a sob. - Though, I will always be _here_ for you.

He turns on his heels and opens the door, glancing one last time at Thomas who is covering his face with his hands. His feet seem to be glued to the ground but he manages to move them. He walks down the hallway and then out to the cold night.


End file.
